Stories Toward Enchantment

Dear MacBook, Thank you.

2009-03-06T17:56:00.000-08:00

I’ve always had a good relationship with my Apple products. Let’s be honest, it’s probably love considering I have an Apple sticker on my jeep and my MacBook and iPhone are almost always resting on the pillow beside me when I fall asleep. I always appreciate how these products make my life a bit easier, but today was the first day that my MacBook actually inspired me to embrace the day a bit more than usual.

Yesterday I had to replace my MacBook battery because it kept unexpectedly dying at 50%. As my friend was helping me replace the old battery with the new one, he gave me this bit of advice:

“It actually works better and has a longer life if you let it get down to almost zero before recharging.”

Now, I guess this makes sense, but I quickly discovered that I have a hard time letting the percentage left in the battery get so close to zero. As soon as I saw that little number in the top of my screen go below 50 percent, I wanted to go grab the cord and start charging it back up again. And when it hit the red line of 20 percent, the temptation was even stronger. I had no reason to charge it, it was still working perfectly and there is an outlet at my disposal about every 10 feet. But I kept thinking, “What if I need that power later, I should get it back up to 100% now.”

Then I’d think of my friend’s advice: that what was best for the battery was to let it get to almost zero and that my computer is even smart enough to tell me when I need to charge it with a pop-up window. But I still had this urge to charge it pre-maturely until I pictured the dead battery now buried in my drawer and remembered something:

By trying to preserve charge for some unknown time I was actually making the battery lose its life faster.

And then it hit me. How often do I do this in my own life?

How often am I trying to save up something or hold on to something too much “just in case?” Or because it makes me more comfortable? And what am I missing out on or sucking the life out of prematurely with this approach?

I too often get so caught up in planning out tomorrow and deciding what I think I’ll need for then, that I forget to just enjoy today. It’s so easy to miss out on what’s right in front of me because I’m distracted by thoughts about what I might need if that happens. Instead, shouldn’t I just trust and be thankful for what I have in the moment?

And funny thing. Isn’t that how God designed life for us and what He reminds us of over and over again in Scriptures? He designed a natural rhythm for our lives. Twenty-four hour intervals to go about our daily activities and then rest.

And He’s told us not to worry about tomorrow because each day has enough troubles and worries of its own. And that His mercies are new each morning.

He doesn’t want us worrying or storing things up for the next day, He just wants us to enjoy what He’s placed before us and then asks us to trust Him for the rest. We don’t have to keep our eye on that percentage of fullness like I was doing with my battery. We have His promises that He will provide plenty for each day and the promise that He will always recharge & prepare us for the next day. Why do I always forget this?

You know what? I’m glad I had to get a new battery for my MacBook. Because now each time I see that battery number creep towards zero percent, I hope I’ll remember that I’ve been given the gift of today. And it is enough.

(Matt. 6:34; Lam. 3:22,23; Proverbs 3:5,6)

Check.

2008-10-23T16:15:00.001-07:00

I think I owe PayPal a thank you note for their email that inspired me through this picture...

This December, Farrah and I now be able to check these two things off our lists:

1. See NYC at Christmas time including Rockefeller tree lit up.
2. See a Harry Connick Jr. Christmas concert together.

I broke out the Christmas music this afternoon to celebrate.

Christmas in NYC

2008-10-01T15:46:00.001-07:00

This picture I received in my inbox today for some paypal promotion is really making me want to go to New York City in December...

Today.

2008-07-20T17:44:00.000-07:00

Both Stine and Allison have shared quotes from Cold Tangerines with me and said that I must read it.

I now understand why. I am loving this book. I find myself trying to savor every word like a piece of cheesecake from Carnegie Deli or like the last day of a great vacation. I don't want to get to the last page too quickly because I'm finding it so inspiring. (I have a feeling I'll just start re-reading favorite chapters and quotes like Stine and Al do now.)

One big thing I'm getting from this book is the reminder to cherish each day for the gift that it is like this quote suggests.

“Today, humble Today presents itself to us with all the ceremony and bling of a glittering diamond ring: Wear me, it says. Wear me out. Love me, dive into me, discover me, it pleads with us.”

In the spirit of embracing today, here is a list of things about today that I have enjoyed...

- fresh flowers on my new coffee table
- main street at dusk (and my view through french doors)
- katie herzig's album Apple Tree
- quiet sunday evenings
- pancakes and popsicles (yes, i've eaten both today)
- a new picture of Alix on my desktop
- wearing clothes that don't match around home and not having to care
- making lists using the new notebook and pencils i got for my birthday
- brave friendships
- feeling inspired

The Shack.

2008-02-13T14:58:00.000-08:00

There has been a lot of talk around the book The Shack among people in Franklin the past couple of months, so I was really curious to read it and figure out why. I finally had a chance to read it this weekend, and now I know...

Read this book.

The story totally captured me and it made me think about God and relationships in an amazing way.

You can order it here.

If you read it, let me know what you think! (I don't want to give away the story by saying anything else until then.)

My 2007 Soundtrack

2007-12-30T16:51:00.000-08:00

Last year I looked back at 2006 by remembering the things that captured my heart. This year I thought I’d look back and see which songs captured the emotions and memories of 2007. Music has always played such an important role in my life. In many ways my love for music is why I ended up in Nashville five years ago, how I met some of my closest friends, how I got my first job out of college and more. So I looked at my iTunes play counts to see which songs I listened to the most and were my personal soundtrack for 2007. Life is better with these songs. I recommend listening to all of them…

Memories with Friends…
Just For Now - Imogen Heap
I'm All Right - Madeleine Peyroux
A Good Start - Maria Taylor
To Be With You - Mr. Big
You Get What You Give - New Radicals
Umbrella (feat. Jay-Z) – Rihanna
Til I Hear It from You - Gin Blossoms

Just ‘Cause…
The Limit To Your Love - Feist
Let Me In - Griffin House
Keep Breathing - Ingrid Michaelson
Paperweight - Joshua Radin And Schuyler Fisk
Breathe In Breathe Out - Mat Kearney
Come On Get Higher - Matt Nathanson
Save You - Matthew Perryman Jones
Where I Stood - Missy Higgins
Million Faces - Paolo Nutini
Heavenly Day - Patty Griffin
Fly - Patty Griffin
Natale's Song - Sia
Simple Life - The Weepies

Running at Pinkerton Park…
Far Away - Chantal Kreviazuk
Surrender - Downhere
Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5
Big Girls Don't Cry (Personal) - Fergie

Jesus Calling…
I Will Show You Love - Kendall Payne
Into The Day (It's Over Now) - Bebo Norman
I Will Lift My Eyes - Bebo Norman
Lead Of Love - Caedmon's Call
The Cure for Pain - Jon Foreman
Every Season - Nichole Nordeman
When It Don't Come Easy - Patty Griffin

Boards and a Fat Lip

2007-12-10T08:36:00.000-08:00

Today I accomplished one of my goals for 2007. I broke two boards at once with both my fist and a sidekick. It was incredible. Here are the 8 broken pieces that remain. :-)

I also managed to get quite the fat lip today. When we kick the boards, the rest of us hold them. On Nick's first attempt, somehow the boards (unbroken) flew out of Jim's hand when Nick kicked them and hit me directly in the mouth. It didn't really hurt, and now I have a funny battle wound from the morning too...

Just another day at Bao...

Tennessee Christmas

2007-12-05T18:34:00.000-08:00

It's definitely starting to look like Christmas at our house...

Office entrance.

Our little balcony...the tree is in the windows of the french doors.

My first real Christmas tree. It smells amazing!

We decided the house looks like a gingerbread house even if the glow of it is borderline Clark Griswold.

Support Bella

2007-10-25T15:29:00.000-07:00

I had a chance to see a screening of this movie last week and definitely recommend seeing it. The stories behind the making of the film are amazing, learn about those at http://bellathemovie.com. If Bella is playing in your city this weekend, please support it.

Alix the Cute.

2007-07-07T08:59:00.000-07:00

I know I'm overdue for a new post. Hopefully I'll have one done soon, but in the mean time here are three of my favorite recent pictures of my niece.

Quientessential Summer Night

2007-06-11T06:54:00.000-07:00

Last night was one of those perfect summer nights that i always look back on in the midst of winter. We had a drive-in movie at church and every aspect of it was ideal....

- The setting sun made the temperature perfect, particularly with the slightly cool breeze blowing across our faces.
- Grilled hot dogs and a plethora of desserts
- a movie on the side of one of the white houses next to the huge field
- playing Frisbee and baseball...although I apparently am not as quick as i like to think and now have a big bruise the perfect size of a baseball on the back of my right leg
- kids running around barefoot & without a care in the world
- lightning bugs making the lawn twinkle
- great friends to share the moment with

I love summer.

CRASH

2007-05-28T18:14:00.000-07:00

Right beside my bathroom mirror there are 3 windows that overlook Main street. Each morning I enjoy opening the curtains and glancing out at the busy street while I get ready (after I'm dressed!) This morning as I began my daily rituals, I noticed it was quieter than usual since it is a holiday. Somewhere between putting on moisturizer and eyeliner, I noticed a shiny, 3-series silver BMW drive by and then went back to applying my mascara without giving it a second thought (except that it was a really nice car). Less than a minute later, I heard a scary sequence of sounds...

Screeching tires.

A woman's blood curdling scream.

A loud, gunshot-like bang. Which was quickly followed by shattering glass.

The scream is what bothered me the most (I can still hear it in my head so clearly). I didn't have any windows open, it was just that loud.

I was a bit afraid to look out the window for fear of what I would see, but I had to look. That silver BMW that I had noticed moments earlier had been struck by a white pick-up. It looked like the BMW was trying to do a u-turn and didn't notice the pick-up coming and was struck on the driver's door. Thankfully, no one was hurt and there were already about 4 people coming out to help and on their cell phones. I understood now why that lady was screaming -- she must have looked up and saw that pick-up driving straight for her! I'd scream too. Maybe I shouldn't have, but I stayed inside since there were already so many people outside helping and it was clear no one was injured. It did get me thinking though long after the police had left and the broken glass was swept away.

One thing it reminded me of was the end of this quote from the film, Crash:

"It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something."

All those people that stood outside my house for about 45 minutes never would have taken the time to really acknowledge each other had those 2 cars not crashed into each other. It's just crazy how fast a day can change. I'm sure both of those people were just out running an errand or trying to enjoy their day off and then CRASH their day is completely altered.

It reminded me of two things I want to be more intentional about...

1. Living in the moment.
2. Being more aware of the people around me and taking time to know them.

I don't want it to take a crash to wake me up.

A New Place to Call "Home"

2007-05-27T07:39:00.000-07:00

Everyone has been giving me a hard time lately for not posting anything new for over a month and for not sending pictures of my new place yet. Now that I've moved, I'm hoping to have more time to write again, but figured I'd make everyone happy by making my first post of the summer include a bunch of pictures of my new home. I can't tell you how thankful I am for this new apartment and its location.

Living room...

This is probably my favorite part of the whole place...the french doors in the living room overlooking this beautiful tree. I open them almost every morning and evening.

Kitchen...

When Kristen moves in, this is where the table will be instead of my desk.

Hallway to rooms...

My room...

Entrance and yard...

My plant that Farrah helped me name. (Her name is Felicity).

Hello, My Name Is Deb

2007-04-21T13:54:00.000-07:00

You know that rare moment that happens when you go shopping? The one where you swear you hear the angels in heaven singing and light pouring down from the sky as you spot that perfect item. The exact item you were picturing in your head is directly in front of you on the sales rack? Sometimes magic happens and you can't walk away.

Well, magic happened at a Good Will in Dallas last weekend when I found the perfect dress for the "Second Chance" 80s Prom Party I was attending with Stine and Steven last week. Just look at the pictures below for proof. We decided I kinda look like Deb from Napoleon Dynamite. Just say "yes" to the side pony tail. It's more fun than you think.

I think these pictures pretty much speak for themselves....

Joy.

2007-03-30T14:37:00.000-07:00

Here are some favorite pictures so far of Alix. She wore the preppy shirt I bought her on our trip to the mall this afternoon. Making her smile is one of my greatest joys.

Welcome Back Spring

2007-03-20T19:36:00.000-07:00

In honor of the first day of spring, I went for a run at the park after work and then took some pictures of a street near my house that encompass everything I love about spring. These stunning trees literally take my breath away every time I drive past them.

Oh Harry!

2007-03-13T23:50:00.000-07:00

two things i love:
1. the piano
2. harry connick jr.

seeing harry connick jr. playing the piano tonight = permagrin.

harry connick jr. dancing...there aren't really words (or at least not words appropriate for a blog post).

i highly recommend paying whatever you have to pay to see harry play with his big band. even if you're unfamiliar with his music, you'll love it and the talent of all the musicians will blow you away. tonight was my third time seeing him, and i'd go again in a heartbeat.

Not Quite Like the Movies...

2007-03-09T09:54:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I tend to forget that life isn’t quite like the movies. Yesterday over our lunch break I was a little foolish and a little adventurous. It makes for a pretty funny story, so I thought I'd share...

It was absolutely beautiful outside, so Nick, Eric and I decided to eat lunch at the park with Eric’s family. Nick rode his bike and before we reluctantly headed back to work, he drove it up for Eric's boys to see. He let the boys sit on it, and as I sat there watching, my wild Susan voice said “You should try and ride that bike right now, what do you have to lose?” I think the pictures of how cute Kate Hudson was in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days went through my mind, and I had to give it a try.

So I was jumped up and said, “Nick, I want to try and ride it.” I could see Eric's paranoia kick into gear as he asked if I was sure and Nick took off his helmet for me to put on. I figured that I’ve done the four wheeler it can’t be that much harder...and I had no intentions of leaving the parking lot. So I put on the helmet...after two attempts, I got my hair adjusted correctly in it so I could actually see. I sat down on the bike for a crash course in the clutch, accelerator, and brakes while Eric & Michelle made sure they were a safe distance away from me and their kids were safely in the car.

Nick told me what to do, and I took a deep breath and started to let up on the clutch and accelerate ever so slightly....it was pretty much just like Kate Hudson in the movie...I started to pop a bit of a wheeley, curved both ways a bit and then straightened it out. So then I was "speeding" down the parking lot at what had to be at least 7 mph and thinking, "I rock. I am so driving this motorcycle." :-) So arrogant me thinks, “Heck, I’m gonna turn this puppy around and drive back to them.”

Not my smartest idea in the world.

It all went well until I accidentally accelerated to fast and came within inches of hitting a red SUV before I braked and simultaneously went crashing to the ground with the bike falling on top of me. Next thing I knew I was laying on the ground, thankful for the helmet, laughing and wondering how the heck you turn the bike off. I wish I could have seen the faces on the countless moms who froze in the park to see what just happened. Eric and Nick said they all had these hilarious, perplexed looks on their faces as if they were wondering what on earth that girl laying on the ground was doing trying to ride a motorcycle. Let's just say that if we had thought to video it, I think I'd have a lot of YouTube hits right now.

So back to me on the ground under the bike....Nick came and helped me up and showed me where the off switch was. Thankfully the bike is fine. I just scratched up my foot a bit...flip flops probably aren’t the best riding shoes, fyi. And I smacked the ground on my shoulder kinda hard...it is still a bit sore today. My story didn't quite end up like the movie, but hey, a few bruises and a cut are a small price to pay for a good laugh and "falling story," right?

Picture of the bike pre-park.

Smiles from Miss Alixandra

2007-03-02T11:06:00.000-08:00

Wanted to share a couple of my favorite recent pictures of my adorable niece. I can't look at these pictures and not smile.

I think it looks like she's about to play a prank on Jeremy by her expression in this pic...

It's the Safest Kind of Falling...

2007-02-25T13:47:00.000-08:00

This week I got to skip out on work for a couple of days to join my friends on the youth staff at church for a retreat to our summer camp location. We had a BLAST, and it was just what I needed. Spring was finally in the air after a snowy weekend, which made it all the more perfect that I got to spend those days at a camp instead of behind a desk.

Two moments stuck with me the most as we laughed our way through the tour of the campgrounds.

Sitting in a white rocking chair on a cabin’s deck that over looked the lake while soaking in the warmth of the sun.

One of my favorite things to do is just sit outside with my eyes closed and feel the warmth of the sun on my face. I was probably only in that rocking chair for a minute, but during that time I was also back on the beach at Seaside with my girls...on the dock at Smith Mountain lake with the peeps...at a red light in Green Hills with Stine and her VW bug with the sunroof open and music blasting...countless memories came rushing back as I added a new one to my mental rolodex. I could have sat there for hours.
(my fave pic from one of our times at Seaside...)

The other moment that stuck with me the most was experiencing the zipline and giant swing (or The OSS as we re-named it) from their high ropes course. Typically things like putting on a “harness” that looks more like a glorified belt that has no chance of holding me up and agreeing to be hooked to a rope and jumping off a platform that is way too high off the ground for comfort would completely freak me out. Ok, so maybe it did Thursday too. BUT I decided to not listen to the fear and instead think about what it would feel like after I jumped. When I was waiting for my turn to go on the zipline, I randomly remembered this dream I had about three years ago. In the dream, Stine and I were both standing on this ledge above all these trees. I kept thinking about how scary it looked below and how there was no way I could take the leap. Then all of a sudden, Stine just looked at me, smiled, and jumped off like a little kid at a swimming pool. I remember in my dream I kept watching her below me and thinking, “I can’t believe she just jumped. I wish I could do that.”

I have no idea if that dream was supposed to mean anything more than any other dream, but it always stuck with me. So when faced with the chance to really jump this week, I did.

I jumped.

I jumped and it was amazing. After about 2 seconds of freaking out, I realized how amazing it felt to just glide through the air. I discovered it was actually easier to just sit back in the harness and relax and enjoy the ride. My trying to hold myself up was actually made it harder. Hmmm, life lesson to be learned from this experience? Cue the cheesey music. :-) I’ve been wrestling with surrendering some feelings and questions the past couple of weeks and a song by Downhere has helped a lot in the process. The lyrics couldn’t be more perfect for the experience at camp…

...And it's the safest kind of falling
Now that I'm falling into You
And it's true I still don't have control
'Cause You've got it all along

So I surrender, surrender, surrender
All these things to You
All my life to You
All my dreams to You
I keep falling in surrender...

Pic of the zipline from the camp's wesbite....see the small platform towards the back...that's where you end up...

Tag, I'm it.

2007-01-31T15:05:00.000-08:00

My old co-worker Evan tagged me a couple of weeks ago in a game of “blog tag.” What the heck is blog tag? My thoughts exactly...apparently I have to reveal 5 things about myself that a casual reader would never know. Afterward, I have to tag 5 other people who's blog I enjoy reading. So here I go, playing tag to kill some time on a slow work day...

1. I can’t stand gum. It honestly sicks me out. I don’t even like to touch the wrappers. The part of the movie Elf when he eats the old, chewed gum on the subway entrance...yeah, that literally almost made me throw up.
2. I started taking a martial arts/sword fighting class last year and LOVE IT. (my instructor’s website: http://thebaoway.com) Who knew I’d love getting up at 6 am two days a week to let people try and beat me up?
3. I was a drum major in high school...just ask my family about the infamous picture that surfaced one Christmas.
4. My second toe is longer than my big toe.
5. One of my favorite things to do on the weekend is to sit down and read US Weekly from cover to cover. Guilty pleasure? Yeppers!

Now my turn to “tag” other people:

Farrah
Stine
Kate
Anne
Nina

You’re it!

I Fell In Love in 2006

2006-12-31T14:48:00.001-08:00

The last day of 2006 has been ideal for me. Some people like to spend the last night of the year out with the masses, dressed to the nines, and a sparkling drink in hand. My perfect day has been quite the opposite though. I have not left my brother’s and sister-in-law’s home on this very windy, grey, cold South Dakota day nor do I plan to. I am still wearing my pajamas, my hair is tossed up in a messy ponytail, I ate warm chocolate chip cookies at 10 am because I could, I’ve read a book, played with my niece, enjoyed my mom’s lasagna around the table with almost all of our family (Lor had to go home already), and had the rare chance to take a nap. The rest of my day will probably consist of more of the same and perhaps a movie on my brother and sister-in-law’s home theater system.

Sitting here wrapped in a fleece blanket next to the fireplace I find myself content to just listen to the noises around me: my mom lovingly talking to Alixandra while she feeds her, Alixandra’s sweet breathes and coos while she drinks her bottle, my dad clicking away on the computer researching his next purchases, silence from the direction of a bedroom where new parents have the rare chance to take a nap, and the cold winds coming to a whistling halt when they meet the windows of the house. Sitting here I can’t help but think about what a wonderful, blessed year this has been. I randomly remembered a list I started back in October of things I’d fallen in love with this year, some silly little things and some life-changing. I’m glad I remembered it in time to share. Here are just a few things this year that have captured my heart in a new way the past 365 days…

Coldplay I’ve always enjoyed their music, but something clicked with me this year and I now “get” why others are so obsessed. Their songs just get better with every listen and fit my every mood and type of day. I don’t even understand what some of them mean and that just makes me like them all the more. Favorite songs include Fix You, The Scientist, and Sparks.

Boston Through another visit in June and through the eyes and descriptions of Farrah, this city has become one of my top three favorites. Its historic charms, quaint streets and parks, and moments there with Farrah have made Boston a city I look forward to visiting frequently.

Chocolate Cake Call me crazy, but I used to dislike chocolate cake. That was before I had it served warm and topped with vanilla ice cream while in the company of dear friends. Two memorable experiences this year involving an artful presentation of warm chocolate cake and ice cream which we devoured included going to the Venetian hotel in Las Vegas with Jeremy and Lora and then at J. Alexander’s with Mary Alice, Steven, Shannon and Christina.

The Color Red Not sure why, but this has become my favorite new color. Whether it’s bright red shoes or a deep red paint color, I can’t get enough of this color…I think my world in 2007 will include a lot more red.

The People’s Church After years of searching and church hopping or skipping, I found a home. This church has reminded me that church isn’t a building or weekly obligation, but a home and many, many people that I call dear friends now. My year would not have been nearly as wonderful if I hadn’t started attending this church and getting involved.

The Journey I’m embracing the process of life more and more. I’m understanding more that when you wait or work for things that are important it actually makes life more enjoyable and meaningful. Seeing The Pursuit of Happyness last night made me think of this concept even more.

Martial Arts Who knew that’d I’d actually love getting up before 6 twice a week to go let people punch me, kick me, and hit me with swords (and do the same back). I always knew I had a Syndey Bristow within and now thanks to Bao’s teaching, I’m learning things I never knew I could do and looking forward to the possibility of breaking a board with my sidekick in 2007.

Fall Don’t tell summer, but I think I may be cheating on it. Fall has become my favorite season. There’s just something about the amazing colors and crisp air and first hints of the winter holidays that have captured me.

Chick-fil-a Milkshakes As Mary Alice would say, they will change your life. Try it and you’ll understand. My favorite is the oreo one.

Going to Movies Alone I’ve always loved going to movies and still love going to them with a group of friends. I also now love going to them on my own. It’s just such a great escape into another story and a feeling of independence.

Yo Yo Ma Nothing like this cello music to calm you down and relax.

Franklin Road I probably spend over 6 hours a week driving up and down this road in Boy Scout. I love it though. Windows down, sun roof open, music up…the rolling hills splashed in colors, the huge farms, fields of horses, mansions decorated for each holiday…sorry I-65 you may be faster, but Franklin Road wins every time in my mind.

My niece Alixandra This little girl has captured my heart like no other. I can’t get enough of her and it’s so amazing to have her as the newest addition of our family. I could go on and on about how incredible she is…even her messy diapers are cute! You know that’s love…

Alixandra's First Christmas

2006-12-27T16:38:00.000-08:00

Here are a few pictures of Alix so far...I can't get enough of her.

First Christmas Outfit.

I call Alix my lil' Ballerina because she is always moving her arms.

Alix and her mommy.

Alix and Grammy talking to Farrah on Christmas morning.

Alix and all of her Christmas presents

Alix and her daddy.

Christmas Time is Here...

2006-12-20T17:34:00.000-08:00

Christmas is almost here. In just 2 days I'll be with my family, get to hold my niece again, and RELAX! I've been trying to soak in the spirit of Christmas as much as possible this week because I know that once I get back all the decorations will be taken down and I once again get a funny look when I play my Christmas music. Here are some favorite things about Christmases past and present...

- "The Slip." Our family tradition all growing up where each day in December we would do a family activity such as baking cookies, making ornaments, shopping for presents, painting our windows, playing games....
- quoting the pageant with Jeremy and the Thomsens. "Minden. The Christmas City presents..."
- driving around the courthouse in Minden to enjoy the lights

- looking at lights with the Thomsens in Kearney and the infamous time we saw the naked man and when Uncle Ron ordered a watermelon, root beer slush at Sonic
- the way our family does tags on presents and gives gifts
- watching Christmas movies like Miracle on 34th Street, Elf, Love Actually, Christmas Vacation, White Christmas, A Muppet Christmas Carol, All I Want For Christmas...
- the letter my Dad writes to each of us each year, which we find in our stocking Christmas day
- driving around Nashville looking at the amazing decorations on the huge houses while Tennessee Christmas plays on my iPod
- the Christmas weekend in Atlanta with my fellow Papes, Stine and Amy, making cookies (Jingle Bell bars!) and watching movies
- buying a real Christmas tree last year with Christina, Mary Alice, and Katherine and driving it home on the top of Boy Scout
- "fighting" with Farrah this year while we put up the Christmas tree

- whenever we are all home in Minden, we attend the Christmas eve service at Mom and Dad's church & we end up having to stand and listen to the Hallelujah chorus while holding our candles. Without fail, Jeremy sings it in a really low or high voice just loud enough for me to hear and I get the giggles....which i have to hold in forever because that song lasts an eternity
- looking at all the tags on presents with Lor the first night we're home
- the "cousins" picture with the Thomsen side when no one knows which camera to look at
(We actually got it right last year!)
- watching a movie with my family after opening presents on Christmas Day...this year maybe in Jeremy's home theater!
- last year when Jeremy recited the entire Scripture passage about the shepherds from memory in his baby voice...unbelievably funny.
- the addition of Alixandra to our family this year and celebrating her one month birthday on Christmas eve!!

There are many more..."comment" any you know that I forgot!

A DC Retreat

2006-12-11T19:27:00.000-08:00

Lately I’ve been feeling exhausted due to a super hectic schedule and concerned that before I know it my favorite time of year will be gone and I will miss out on enjoying it. Today has been a perfect remedy to those feelings. I’m in Washington D.C. for a work conference and have a couple of hours to myself before the madness begins. I’m staying at a very fancy hotel just two blocks down from the White House, so I threw my suitcase on the fluffy bed, grabbed my iPod & camera, and headed out to see a few sights while the voices of Sarah McLachlan, Over the Rhine, Ray Charles, Harry Connick Jr. and other favorites sang my favorite Christmas tunes.

Here are some highlights of my DC retreat…

1. Everything is decorated for Christmas and is stunning.
2. While looking at the White House, I noticed that a man dressed in all black was patrolling the roof (you can see him in the pic if you look closely). My mind immediately went all Alias...maybe they need me to practice the sword fighting skills I’ve been learning lately. Don’t worry, I resisted the urge to buy a shirt from a street vendor that said “CIA.”
3. Seeing the lights on the National Christmas tree turn on with the Washington monument in the background.
4. I almost followed a crowd of people that were going to a party at the White House…I think if I would have just walked with confidence and given the little man at the security booth a charming speech like Syndey Ellen Wade of Virginia, I could have gotten away with it. Although my jeans may have given me away…
5. A stunning view of the capital at dusk as I walked back to my hotel with tired feet but a renewed sense of Christmas cheer. (the picture doesn’t do it justice)
6. I have room service on the way and may even splurge for a pay-per-view movie for my “Susan retreat” night….the hardest decision of my night will be which movie to buy and which giant, cloud-like bed to sleep in….

This girl can’t complain…

Alixandra Grace

2006-11-28T14:04:00.000-08:00

I experienced a new kind of love yesterday when I met my 3 day old niece, Alixandra. Who knew you could instantly love someone so much? I can't even imagine what it feels like when they are your own. Alixandra is doing well, but still in the NICU. Please keep her in your prayers.

Learning how to take a bottle.

Alix and Auntie Suz

Our little glowworm working on her tan...or at least that's what I was teasing she was doing. The doctor's were concerned about jaundice yesterday, and so she had to spend the majority of the day under special lights.

Alixandra is already stylish though...sporting matching eye protection and paci. :-) She's already loves to move around a ton...she stopped crying when the nurse let her sit up.

More pics to come...

There's No Place Like Home

2006-11-23T22:40:00.000-08:00

It's true. I love every moment of being home and just have so much to be thankful for...

Highlights of this trip so far include:

- Mom's popcorn and a movie each night (popcorn from mom is only made by Farrah and I approaching her with our most pitiful faces possible and whining, "Moooooom, will you make us some popcorn? It's better when you make it.")
- pajama pants, a t-shirt, and messy ponytail have been my daily attire
- reading mindless fiction in our giant recliners
- playing HORSE with Dad and Lor in our driveway (sadly, i lost every game...boo!)
- all the amazing food including luscious layered dessert, my favorite Thanksgiving mashed potatoes, and gimmie cookies (the scale may disagree with this one)
- chasing Farrah around the kitchen as we laughed and pretended to be fighting...Mom even called Dad to "get them out of here." hee hee.
- a flashback to the movie Flashdance with a certain family member's attire due to the airlines losing luggage...enough said
- walks on the quiet country roads talking about heart matters with The Far
- an evening of laughter with all of our extended family
- being with my family as we anxiously await the next update from Jeremy and Sus who are having their baby in the next 24-48 hours (read their live updates here.)
- many more to come...time with the family awaits....here are some pictures so far...

Nebraska sunset

My cousin Kate's baby, Teddy

The Thomsen side of the family (all of us that were here)

Is it just me or does our 19-year old cat, Spooky, remind you of the cat from Sweet Home Alabama

Perspective.

2006-11-05T09:48:00.000-08:00

What do you think when you see this picture?
An old run-down building?
An eyesore?

A couple of weeks ago I was flying back to Nashville from my trip home for harvest. It was abnormally windy and really rainy in Nashville as we started to make our descent. Normally flying doesn’t bother me at all, I can sleep through take off and landing with the best of them. This flight was pretty rough though: five minutes into the decent I was certain soon I was about to figure out who “the others” are because our plane was about to go down and naturally I’d join Kate, Sawyer, and Jack on the LOST island. OK, so maybe my imagination was getting the best of me, but it seriously was a very turbulent landing. Literally all I could see outside my window was a white fog. As we bounced from cloud to cloud, I just kept thinking “I just want to see how close we are to the ground so I know how long this will continue. I just want to see the ground. I just want to see the ground.”

Just when I wasn’t sure I could take any more bouncing around, the white fog outside my window finally parted dramatically like the Red Sea. The familiar Nashville buildings were below…finally, perspective.

Perspective, it makes all the difference. As soon as I could see the ground, the windy landing didn’t bother me because I knew what to be expecting and gage how much longer it would be until our wheels touched the runway. I couldn’t control our plane, but just seeing the bigger picture of where we were made all the difference. I realized how this landing relates to so many aspects of my life.

How often do I live my life in the white fog when the “big picture” view of the ground is accessible to me? It’s easy to get so caught up in the little things and turn them into a big deal or the “what ifs” that I have absolutely no control of. Before I know it, I’m back in that seat on the plane, lost in the white fog and freaking out that because I can’t see the ground. But unlike the situation on the plane, a grounded, “big picture” perspective in life is always an option…even when there are some unknowns.

William recently challenged our meal group with a profound statement that has really stuck with me:

“You find what you’re looking for.”

Am I looking to find the clear, broad view of why I was created, what I can be learning in each circumstance, and my purpose in life? Or am I creating my own fog?

So back to this picture.

While it may just look like an old, run-down building to some, to me it is a piece of my family’s history. This building was once a one-roomed schoolhouse where my Grandma Thomsen taught and where she met my Grandpa. This is the scene of where my mom’s parent’s story began and consequently, years later my story.

Like I said, perspective makes all the difference.

Merge Costume Bash

2006-11-01T08:40:00.000-08:00

So last night we had a costume party for MERGE....

Attempting to be serious, me, Jeff, and Allison as Addison, Derek, and Meredith from Grey's Anatomy.

Meal Group

Click here for lots more funny pics

My brother, Jeremy, beat us Tennesseans hands down though with his Napleon Dynamite...

Pumpkin Fest

2006-10-29T20:43:00.000-08:00

Yesterday the beloved streets I walk down each work day in downtown Franklin were closed off for the annual Pumpkin Fest. I took Hadley and Callie with me (dressed as a doctor/spy and pig, respectively) and we had a blast. Here are a few picture highlights....

Main street. My office is at the end of this steet.

Callie and Hadley on the "great pumpkin."

Eric gave us a ride on one of the Franklin Pedicabs.

Callie

Hadley

Harvest Memories Old and New

2006-10-15T13:08:00.000-07:00

Each year around this time I fondly look back on the memories of growing up surrounded by corn fields and harvest. Last year I wrote this entry about what it was like as a child. Yesterday, I had a chance to relive old memories and create new ones. It was perfect, a moment I will treasure forever. Everything was just as I remembered it with the exception of some new technolgy and additions that made the ride more comfortable....and harder to turn on the windshield wipers when my dad wasn't looking. Since last year I wrote about the experience, here are some pictures to mark our 2006 harvest...

The corn is definitely dry and ready to be picked.

Uncle Ron driving the combine (this is what picks the corn and takes it off the cob.)

All the husks, cobs, and stalks get shot out of the back of the combine...you don't want to stand behind it, trust me.

My dad is pulling up with the grain cart so Uncle Ron can unload the combine while simultaneously picking more corn.

Tranferring the corn from the combine to grain cart.

Dad and me in the tractor.

Grain transfer seen in the massive side mirrors.

Once the grain cart is full, we took it to the "pit" next to the bins and dumped the corn in there to begin the drying process.

Corn flowing into the pit.

When the pit is full at the moment or they're picking in a field far from the farm, the corn goes from the grain cart to one of the trucks.

Dad driving the semi...yes, I made sure I had the chance to honk the horn.

The trucks then unload into the pit, just like the grain cart.

This auger pumps the corn from the pit up to the dryer. The dryer makes sure the corn is dry enough to be sold.

Dad has to climb to the top of the dryer periodically to check everything...he snapped this picture while he was up there.

Once the corn is dry (or while it's waiting to be dried), it is stored in the bins until they sell it.

This corn cob dust is constantly swirling through the air around the farm.

I used to have to just sit on the armrest of Dad's chair, but in the new tractors I have my own!

The tractor's GPS system.

Tractor gears and switches.

They moved the windshield wiper switch to the other side of the tractor, but I still manged to sneak over and turn them on when Dad wasn't around.(read last year's post for that to make sense)

These are the trucks they used when I was little...now they've upgraded to the semis.

Semi truck door.

A couple of more "old school" pictures yet to come...

Home

2006-10-11T19:47:00.000-07:00

Today I flew home to Nebraska. This may be the longest I’ve gone without being home for a visit…last time I was here or saw my parents was Christmas. Here are some of the little things that have made today wonderful….

- A hug from both of my parents and eating a delicious dinner with them before they headed off to their standing Wednesday night commitment of 25 years and counting (Awana). It’s comforting to know that Wednesday nights still look the same here.
- Cold weather outside and Mom’s grilled cheese & tomato soup for dinner.
- A break from the normal routine.
- The open horizon and fields here.
- Currently sitting in one of our big comfy recliners watching a movie on our big TV (soon to be LOST) with my sister next to me working away on her laptop too
- saw my first snowflakes of the season when we landed in the twin cities
- sleeping on both planes…I find the noises of the plane strangely comforting and they put me to sleep
- my ipod to help kill time in the airport…it’s possible that when going to Terminal B I had the moving walkway and hallway entirely to myself and started dancing to the John Mayer song playing on my ipod…
- the kind airport lady ignored the fact that my bag was a half a pound over the weight limit and then the sweet elderly lady that kept asking me questions about our flight before it departed.
- the book Soul Cravings that I’m reading…so good. Look for it November 14th...
- our cat Spooky is still alive and living in the garage. He’s not aging so well (or smelling so good)…I have to say he looks like the cat at the end of Sweet Home Alabama…it’s hard not to laugh
- my parents have wireless
- all the memories that come flooding back to me whenever I am here….like this picture of Farrah handing me the keys to her car when she was teaching me to drive a stick shift on Thanksgiving 2004. Boy are there stories there.

Much more to come from my trip here in the next few days….

Stars.

2006-09-26T22:37:00.002-07:00

Driving home on Franklin Road tonight, I found myself wrapped up in one of those contemplative, and simultaneously peaceful moments I do not want to forget. I spent the evening with good friends sharing a meal, laughing, and discussing a book called The Secret Message of Jesus. As I turned my jeep onto the dark road headed home, my mind was spinning as fast as the tires with thoughts about the future, Jesus, and tomorrow’s schedule.

It was a beautiful, crisp fall night so I opened my sunroof, nudged the temperature dial closer to heat, and turned on Sixpence None the Richer singing It Came Upon A Midnight Clear. (Yes, I know it’s ridiculous to listen to a Christmas song in late September, but something about their arrangement of that song makes me full of wonder in the deepest part of me.) Lost in the melody and curious thoughts of angels singing in the sky, I looked up and was in awe of the view. There were millions of stars twinkling above me with an occasional cloud as thin as the “see through cookies” my Grandma used to make (my official name for my favorite kind of cookie she baked). The soothing sounds of the music and the tiny specks of light filling the sky enveloped me. What was the sky like the night of Jesus’ birth? What was it like 33 years later? And now here I am over 2000 years later under the same stars. What does my future hold? And the question I’ve been thinking about since it was posed to me through a book in college and now recently in various conversations about life and the Kingdom of God. Who am I becoming? I once read a challenging statement that we are becoming who we’ll be forever. Tonight looking up at the stars, that idea inspired me. Inspired me to be more aware of others & what’s happening around me. More aware of our history. More aware of how I spend my time. More aware of what matters. More aware that God is real.

Growing up I was more aware of the night sky. I don’t know if it’s the city lights or if it’s the clouds of a busy schedule that distract me, but tonight I was reminded why I miss the darkness of the country. I’d forgotten how the night sky makes my heart come alive. No more.

Welcome Back McFriends

2006-09-21T09:23:00.000-07:00

So I'm not going to lie. I'm pretty McPumped for the return of Grey's Anatomy tonight. I love the story of these characters and have missed my friends at Seattle Grace. Read the Grey's Writer's blog today if you're a fan too...

Perfect Fall Ingredients

2006-09-16T16:56:00.000-07:00

My Saturday has been fairly routine. A weekend routine I love: sleep past 6 am for a change, eat a leisurely breakfast on my couch while watching the TBS Saturday morning movie (or today Grey’s Anatomy Season 2 on DVD), and then slip on shorts & a t-shirts and throw my hair in a pony tail so I can go run errands and exercise.

As I walked the path at Granny White Park and stopped for groceries, I couldn’t help but smile. It was rather hot outside, in fact I finally had to roll up my windows and turn on the AC in Boy Scout. But even with the machine-made cool air, I smiled:
hints of fall are every where…

The leaves are starting to all have a hint of yellow on them and make a rustling noise when the breeze sweeps through them. The first pumpkins were on display outside of the grocery store. The city of Brentwood employees were busy changing out the patriotic banners in the shopping center with fall ones. I had to keep repeating, “You’re here to buy body wash, you’re here to buy body wash” in my head at Target so I wouldn’t get sucked in by the aisles and aisles of Halloween candy and decorations. And every major television network is broadcasting college football right now.

There are so many things I love about the changing of seasons. One of them is how it seems like every year, I magically find myself in the middle of a perfect day that sums up everything I love about that particular season. Isn’t it funny how a simple thing like the weather outside can just perfectly set the scene for moments you’ll remember forever and look back on fondly year after year? I think that’s what I love the most…the memories that a new season awakens and the possibility of creating new ones.

Since today was too hot to be one of those perfect fall days, here are three favorite days from the past couple of years:

Grilled Cheese Sandwiches with Mary Alice
A couple of years ago it was a cloudy, chilly afternoon and I found myself unexpectedly done with work about 3 pm (I was still splitting my time between Ground Force and nannying). I was wondering what to do with the gift of extra time when Mary Alice called. She was at Frothy Monkey studying and wondered if I wanted to keep her company. So I joined Mary Alice at one of the tables outside on the deck at Fro Mo. It was perfect: they had heaters turned on at each table plus we each had on a fleece jacket and warm beverage to keep us cozy and warm. We sat outside sipping hot cocoa talking about how perfect it was outside and plotting our next move to make the most of the first almost “cold” day of the season where neither of us had to be working. There’s really only one solution to that dilemma: grilled cheese sandwiches made to perfection thanks to George Foreman, tomato soup from Bread & Company (it’ll change your life), and watching the movie Serendipity. We plan to re-create this day on the first cold day this year.

Pre-Thanksgiving Feast with the Baileys
Last year I was in Dallas for work and enjoying a few wonderful days with Stine and Steven. They both share my appreciation for making the most out of fall days and lucky for us, it was unseasonably cool in Dallas during my trip. We decided to have a pre-Thanksgiving feast in celebration of the cool weather and the fact that we were together. Stine and I made a whole day of it. We started the day off by taking a heavenly walk around a beautiful lake Stine had discovered near their apartment. It was one of those mornings where you needed long sleeves even though the sun was trying to peak around the clouds. After our walk, we grabbed some smoothies to tied us over until our feast and went home to plan the meal and trip to whole foods. We flipped through Stine’s Apple’s of Gold cookbook and decided to make the following:
- honey baked Virginia ham (we actually bought this at the Virgina Ham store)
- zucchini casserole (so creamy and covered with crushed up crackers)
- rolls sprinkled with chedder cheese
- salad with apples and almonds
And of course dessert…snickers bar cookies.
With our list in hand we headed off to Whole Foods. Not only did we get everything we needed for our feast, but we also picked out three pumpkins that were just begging for us to decorate them.

When we got home from the store, we left the door to the apartment open so the cool fall breeze could come in the apartment, lit their apple-scented Yankee candle, said hi to Steven who was watching football and set to work on the meal (for the record Steven is such a good cook, we told him he had to let us do it all so we could improve our cooking skills). We split up the menu and each did our part to make each dish while Steven kept us laughing in between plays of his football game. In no time at all, the oven was working its magic while we cleaned up the kitchen and showered. We then savored every bite of our pre-Thanksgiving feast by candlelight. It couldn’t have tasted better if it’d been Thanksgiving Day. And although I can’t remember for sure I’m pretty sure we convinced Steven to then let us watch one of the movies that Stine and I can quote in it’s entirety and never tire of. It was probably Serendipity (yes, again). Or When Harry Met Sally. Even though we forgot to decorate our pumpkins, it couldn’t have been more perfect.

Boston with Farrah
On my flight home from Dallas, I was lucky enough to score a free plane ticket that allowed me to accompany Farrah on a trip to explore Boston and help her find an apartment to make her upcoming move there a little easier. It was early November and the perfect Boston fall experience. We spent our first morning in Copley Square, the Boston Commons and the Public Gardens just soaking in the beautiful colors the trees were painted with and their reflections in the ponds. In the afternoon we made our way past Quincy Market and followed the red trail to the Old North Church were we stopped in a very New England-ish coffee shop to warm up and read the paper for apartment leads.
Then we ventured into our favorite area (where Farrah now lives): Beacon Hill. Here we found a café that was love at first sight…with white twinkle lights around the windows, desserts that make you drool plus Italian food on the menu, and a name like Café Bella Vita, how can you not love it? In fact, we loved it so much we returned the following night for dinner.
And if all that (and all the memories from this trip I don’t have time to mention) wasn’t enough, on my last morning there we were able to watch them putting up the giant Christmas tree outside of Macy’s (don’t even get me started on how much I love Christmas…just ask Farrah how I instantly turned into an 8 year old girl again the moment I saw the tree). Lately, Farrah and I constantly talk about moments from this trip we loved and are already scheming for a similar weekend in Boston next year.

I can’t wait to see what this year’s fall has in store. I am certain I’ll have new memories to add to this list. After all, it only takes two key ingredients: cool weather & good friends. Does it get any better than that? No wonder Thanksgiving is in the fall.

After the Last

2006-09-03T19:04:00.000-07:00

Last night I was driving home from a retreat where we discussed lots of great plans, ideas, and most importantly how to make people feel loved and embraced. This favorite song about love came to mind, and I’ve listened to it countless times today. Few songs can give me chills and move me to tears on the 147th listen, but this song is one that always seems to do both. Here are the lyrics…

After the Last

After the last tear falls
After the last secret's told
After the last bullet tears through flesh and bone
After the last child starves
And the last girl walks the boulevard
After the last year that's just too hard

There is love
Love, love, love
There is love
Love, love, love
There is love

After the last disgrace
After the last lie to save some face
After the last brutal jab from a poison tongue
After the last dirty politician
After the last meal down at the mission
After the last lonely night in prison

There is love
Love, love, love
There is love
Love, love, love
There is love

And in the end, the end is
Oceans and oceans
Of love and love again
We'll see how the tears that have fallen
Were caught in the palms
Of the Giver of love and the Lover of all
And we'll look back on these tears as old tales

'Cause after the last plan fails
After the last siren wails
After the last young husband sails off to join the war
After the last "this marriage is over"
After the last young girl's innocence is stolen
After the last years of silence that won't let a heart open

There is love
Love, love, love
There is love

And in the end, the end is
Oceans and oceans
Of love and love again
We'll see how the tears that have fallen
Were caught in the palms
Of the Giver of love and the Lover of all
And we'll look back on these tears as old tales

'Cause after the last tear falls
There is love

Lyrics by Andrew Peterson and Andrew Osenga

Picture taken by Christine Bailey

A Proud Aunt.

2006-08-26T10:44:00.000-07:00

In May I received news I’d been hoping to hear ever for a long time: I am going to be an aunt!

Christmas has always been my favorite time of year, but this year will be extra special because “Baby Bill” is due to arrive 2 days after Christmas. I’m unbelievably excited about my niece’s or nephew’s arrival (they’re waiting until the birth to find out if it’s a girl or boy, which I love). Thanks to my sister-in-law generously sharing with us a description of what’s going on with the baby each week, I can already take an active interest in what my precious niece or nephew is up to.
This week he or she:
- weighs 12 ounces
- is growing teeth under his or her gums
- circulation is fully functional
- has eyes although the irises have no pigment yet
- can feel everything he or she touches in the womb
- and has a full set of neurons so he or she can process everything he or she is discovering around him or her
Isn’t that incredible. And look how cute his or her foot is!

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
~ Psalm 139:13-14

Continuum.

2006-08-24T13:28:00.000-07:00

Right now I am listening to a sneak peek of John Mayer’s new album, Continuum. (There is a lady that interrupts John about every two minutes to remind me it is a “Sneak peek, hear it here first.”) So anyway, back to the music. I am LOVING this CD. It has a very chill feel...the best way I can think to describe it is that it makes me think of a perfect winter day around the holidays. It makes me want to brave the 90 degree weather today and walk down to Starbucks, buy a hot chocolate, turn up the AC and pretend it’s 3 months from now. I picture this music playing while driving up to a snow-covered house wearing a cozy sweater, scarf, and cute hat (or toque for my Canadian reader) on the day before Thanksgiving with the smell of a fire burning lingering in the air. You know that cozy feeling? I will definitely be buying this CD when it comes out next month. And I will listen to it on the way to Minden in November. I think what I’m really most excited about is that last night I bought my plane ticket to go home for Thanksgiving. Thank you John Mayer for making the soundtrack to my wintry, holiday mood.

Shopgirl

2006-08-21T19:19:00.000-07:00

I’ve discovered that I have a Kathleen Kelly complex. It’s undeniable. Whenever August rolls around and the first “back to school” commercial airs, I have a sudden urge to have my life mirror Kathleen Kelly’s. Kathleen Kelly of the little bookstore. I start checking my email in hopes that some mysterious friend wants to send me bouquets of sharpened pencils, if he knew my address. I find myself wanting to buy school supplies and wandering around the back to school section at Target wondering if they still make Trapper Keepers and imagining what folders I’d pick out if I were returning to school. I have an urge to buy twinkle lights to make life more enchanting. I make random stops at Barnes & Noble to just browse the aisles and end up in the children’s section recalling my favorite stories from childhood, although I’m sad to say I have yet to read the “shoe books.” I long for fall and feel inspired to make time to start reading more.

The last time I was at Barnes & Noble I started thinking about my favorite “chapter books” from growing up. Some I saw on the shelves and silently hoped other children would pick them out and fall in love with the same characters that I did. Others were missing from the shelves, but I’m sure they would be on the shelves at The Shop Around the Corner (even if the big bad chain store doesn't carry them).

Here are a few that came to mind:
** Charlotte’s Web (I distinctly remember picking this book up off a bright red cart during a book fair at school)
** The Sadie Rose Series & Elizabeth Gail Series (both which my dad read aloud to me before bed each night)
** The Babysitters Club Series (who could forget Kristy, Mary Ann, Claudia, Stacey, Dawn, and the junior associates like Mallory and Jessie)
** Ramona Quimby, Age 8 (I bought this one for Hadley last year to do my part to keep Ramona alive)
** Anastasia Krupknick (a book in another great Lois Lowry series)
** From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler (who could forget the puppet show Abby, Amy Johansen and I did for our 6th grade reading project...Abby and I probably still has burn marks from trying to use the hot glue gun to give our sock puppets a head full of yarn)
** And the pen pal series that I don’t remember the name of but they each had their own set of stationary and secret “mailbox” their other 3 friends would leave them notes on

I daydream that someday I’ll own my own cute little children’s bookstore where my daughter and I can twirl. I know Fox Books put the Shop Around the Corner out of business, but the Kathleen Kelly in me believes that it could happen. And until then I’ll spend this fall reading some of the books I’ve been wanting to read for weeks, buy my new fall candle and maybe just one roll of scotch tape at Target, and who knows I may even add the shoe books to my stack of books to read. It really is too bad Skating Shoes is out of print.

Hawaii and Puzzles

2006-06-15T17:43:00.000-07:00

Right now it’s 3 am in Nashville. Right now it’s 10 pm on Kauai Island in Hawaii where I sit on our second floor covered deck typing this reflection. (I think my mind and body sit somewhere in between the two time zones, because right now I can’t sleep.) Right now I see a full moon in the sky to my left and the twinkling of white lights and tiki torches reflecting in the garden pond directly in front of me. Right now I hear the distant crashing of waves and rain drops falling on the palm trees that surround me (which has me a bit perplexed since I can see the moon.) Right now I know that the ocean is only three minutes walking distance from me. Right now I hear the distant voices of people laughing and celebrating a place where all that matters is “right now.” Right now I should be sleeping. But right now I can’t stop thinking about puzzle pieces and passages from a book I have been reading.

I’ll start with puzzle pieces. Just an ordinary part of a hobby older adults enjoy and children find delight in that I’ve started to view as more than just pieces to a puzzle. It first started when I noticed Farrah had a lone puzzle piece on the dash of her car this Christmas. Perplexed, I asked her why it was there. She told me how it was part of a sermon illustration at church regarding how we are all a piece of a larger masterpiece. I liked this example as I’ve always found fascination in stories and how everyone’s story points to the larger Story playing out each day. Lately my puzzling thoughts have been a bit more self-involved. I’ve been looking at circumstances from the past few months of my life. Thinking about dreams and hopes I have. Wondering if these circumstances are foreshadows to hopes being fulfilled. I started thinking about each of these different circumstances as a puzzle piece. As a child, my big brother (the puzzle master) taught me that when doing a puzzle to first lay out all the pieces face up, separate the edge pieces, and then display what the end product should look like. This method would ensure that constructing the puzzle would be as easy and efficient as possible. His advice always sticks with me, so in thinking about my circumstances and experiences, I started laying them out in my mind like individual puzzle pieces. I can’t see for certain what the end picture will look like, but each piece seems to compliment the others, they seem like they work well together, it looks like it has the potential to together make a beautiful picture. So why can’t I just put the pieces together NOW and enjoy the pretty picture? Did I get a couple of puzzles mixed up and I’m trying to fit together pieces that can never fit? Am I just missing some of the edge pieces that I need to wait for before the actual connecting of all the middle pieces can begin? Maybe all these questions were why I usually ended up leaving the puzzles to my brother…

On the plane ride to Hawaii, I finally had time to start reading a book I’ve wanted to read for months. We have the privilege of promoting it right now and the second I read the blurb about it; I knew it was a book I needed to read in full. It’s called anonymous jesus’ hidden years and yours by Alicia Britt Chole. This book echoes my thoughts about waiting and wondering about my puzzles pieces just sitting in front of me and has opened my eyes to many new insights. Have you ever thought about how so much of Jesus’ life on earth is undocumented? Almost 30 years of it. What was He doing in that time? Why did he have to wait so long to fulfill his purpose? Alicia makes some fascinating points/ideas on this subject of “hidden years.” She makes a profound statement that I’m still pondering: “Today’s decisions foreshadow tomorrow’s challenges and reflect yesterday’s choices.” Today matters, God doesn’t waste anyone’s time. Even Jesus needed those hidden years to prepare him for the 3 years he was in the spotlight and the decisions and challenges he would be faced with. As Alicia points out, we miss out on a huge piece of life when we discount “hidden years.” She says, “most of us struggle if our dreams are delayed one year, let alone twenty! We find God’s pauses perplexing. They seem to be a waste of our potential. When those pauses extend beyond what we can comprehend or explain (say, for instance, three days) we often spiral into self-doubt or second-guessing. But in anonymous seasons we must hold tightly to the truth that no doubt strengthened Jesus throughout his hidden years: Father God is neither care-less nor cause-less with how he spends our lives. When he calls a soul simultaneously to greatness and obscurity, the fruit—if we wait for it—can change the world.”

I could include about 10 more quotes, but I’ll just let you read the book yourself, it’s worth it.

I definitely feel like I have yet to reach my full potential and long to have my days full of only what I’m passionate about: things like loving people one by one and doing whatever it takes to encourage them to live life fully and to their greatest capacity. It’s easy to just say “well, that doesn’t pay the bills right now,” but I’m pretty sure that’d just be an excuse. I’m pretty sure I can be living out that passion now while also recognizing so much of life is about the process and the daily lessons of once again putting Christ in the center. Someday living out that passion might be “easier.” There is a purpose in the puzzling moments that have filled my mind lately though. And you know what, God didn’t call us to try to figure out what he’s doing all the time, but to trust Him and surrender and let Him lead us. It’s all about the relationship.

So why is it so hard to live in the “right now?” Tonight as I sit in the middle of paradise on earth thinking about puzzle pieces, I will remind myself once again that all my little puzzle pieces are preparing me for the purpose God has for me. I can be certain they will fit together to make a picture more beautiful than the scenery I have seen the past few days. I will remind myself once again that I am one small piece in a much grander story. And I will be able to sleep now, knowing the Master will fit all the pieces together at just the right moment, saying “My child, the time is now.” Paradise awaits.

Coldplay Cookies

2006-04-08T00:12:00.000-07:00

Right now I feel so peaceful. In fact, I’ll go as far as to say that I am in introvert heaven. I just got done making cookies, and am now sitting in the dim light in my apartment continuing a Coldplay marathon that began in the kitchen. Their music is perfect for a stormy night…it perfectly compliments the sound of the rain coming down outside and the occasional crescendo of the rumbling thunder. There is a spring breeze blowing in my open window bringing with it the smell of rain and freshly cut grass. It’s moments like this that God’s presence feels like something I can almost touch.

I learned a while ago, that I definitely am someone that needs “alone time” to recharge. Last weekend I didn’t have any of that time and this week has been non-stop, so all week I’ve been looking forward to doing my own thing tonight.
Tonight’s only agenda: make cookies for upcoming engagement parties.

Being the world class baker that I am, I had a couple of “Sugar!” moments in the kitchen that I thought I’d share so since no one was there to laugh at/with me in the moment....

I discovered the hard way that you have to be extra careful with the mixer when you double a recipe. I thought I was, but the next thing I knew there was a white cloud in my face and my toes, the floor, dishwasher, counter, and mixer were white with a lovely dusting of flour....oops.

So I clean up the flour/floor and get ready to add the chocolate chips. Again, I thought I was being gentle opening the bag, but next thing I know RIIIIIIP. And the floor is covered in chocolate chips while the words “awwwww sh....” lingered in the air. (I tried to say “sugar” like Farrah did during her infamous Christmas baking, so my parents wouldn’t have to threaten to wash my mouth out with soap, but when there’s good chocolate going to waste, sometimes stronger words are justified.)
And the icing on the cake....

I was transferring some of the cookies from the pan to the wax paper for them to cool when one fell on to, yep, you guessed it, the floor. But as if that weren’t enough, part of it landed on my big toe where it broke leaving a rather hot chocolate chip melting directly on to my poor toe. So I literally started hopping on one foot across the floor saying “ow ow ow ow” reaching for a wet paper towel to wipe it off and stop the burning. Only I would burn my toe on a cookie. Seriously, who does that?

“How’d you get that blister on your toe, Susan?”
“Um, well.....I dropped a cookie on it.”
“Excuse me?”

So if you ever wondered how an introvert spends their “alone time,” now you know. The good news is between all my spills and hopping episodes, the Flautt’s kitchen floor is now sparking clean. :-)

My two recommendations of the day:
1. Coldplay makes a great soundtrack for baking on a stormy night.
2. When baking, always wear socks.

1000 Miles To True Freedom

2006-03-23T18:56:00.000-08:00

“Gas in the car, get in
Say we're never spontaneous
We're taking a chance at living the wild life, baby…

The clothes on our back are plenty
Everybody will wonder where we've gone to…
This could be a real good story, someday soon”

Maybe it’s because I grew up in Nebraska (one of the most land-locked states there is), but ever since I first heard these lyrics, I wanted them to be the mirror to a moment in my life. A little over a week ago, my fellow idealist Stine was in town for a few days and we decided to seize the day and make one of our shared dreams come true: wake up at 6am on an ordinary Friday morning, throw an iPod (well, gently place--that toy was expensive!), some clothes, baseball gloves & ball, apples, and peanut butter crackers into a bag, hop into Boy Scout (my jeep) and drive to one of our favorite places: the emerald coast of Florida. Awwww yeah, 500 spontaneous miles, many laughs, and one emergency bathroom stop later (giggle, this one wasn’t for me for a change!), we drove into Seaside, Florida with perma-grins on our faces and flip-flops on our feet that were itching to be removed so our toes could wiggle in the sugar white sand.

Stine and I have been blessed to share a handful of trips to the beach together, but this one was the most special of all. Not because we did anything different than usual, but because of the way God has grown & matured our hearts since our last trip together in 2004. The beach has always represented freedom to us, and that certainly hasn’t changed. What has changed though is that we no longer have to be at the beach or have everything going our way to experience freedom. Before I think we’d both admit to being really greedy about things like our time at the beach. I didn’t appreciate what a gift it was to be there, and I’d waste precious moments on the sand thinking about how I wanted more instead of appreciating the moment I was in. And let’s be honest, I still struggle with this “gluttony” at times, just today I found myself in a situation that I kept getting caught up in wanting more instead of enjoying the moment for what it was. Our spontaneous beach trip though was a moment where the ability to just enjoy each moment for what it was was as real to me as the sand beneath my toes and the endless water before me.

Here’s a glimpse at some of those moments…

0 minutes into the trip. We left so early that no one was awake except the Pest Control man, who we asked to take this shot. Judging by the blurriness, we figure he should probably stick to spraying termites. Sorry buddy, no Jeremy Cowart apprenticeship in your future.

Morning sun is shining, and we’ll be at the beach in 7 hours. Can’t fake those smiles!

Somewhere between Nashville and the Alabama line: Two Idealists in the car always makes for some good laughs. We pass an 18-wheeler truck in the shoulder with smoke pouring out of the side of it, and what comes out of my mouth? “Ooooh, look at how the sunbeams are shining through the smoke! That’s beautiful!” I guess I should have been more concerned for the truck, but the sunbeams really were beautiful.

1.5 hours into the trip: The Alabama line. We made it out of Tennessee, and we’re happy to announce that not only is that a rocket, but yes Alabama is still happy to see us.

No road trip is complete without some luscious Diet Sunkist! Tastes like a summer morning!

7.5 hours into the trip: It’s cloudy, but we’re finally in Seaside, so who cares?

8 hours into the trip: I think we can pass as beach house owners, don’t you? We sure look like the kind of gals who could own million dollar summer homes. Hee hee. And Boy Scout does proudly display the Seaside name, the front license plate counts too, right?

Here are some more fun ones from the beach…

Wow…just wow.

16 hours into the trip: Let’s not forget the infamous Destin Walmart – where else can you get airbrushed t-shirts and useless plastic beach bling??

16.5 hours into the trip: All the ice cream shops were closed when we finished dinner, so we bought some No Sugar Added Breyers Peanut Butter Tracks at Walmart and ate it in our hotel room. Yes, we’re both seeking recovery for this addiction, but no suzstine time is complete without an ice cream run!!

Can I just say again how glad I am we enjoyed our ice cream from the comfort of two hotel beds and not the back of Boy Scout in some dark parking lot?

28 hours into the trip: Beautifully sunny Seaside welcomes us Saturday morning at one of our favorite picture spots.

33 hours into the trip: Ice cream, sunshine, and a quiet walk through glorious Seaside where I discovered my dream spot. Am I really looking at a white gazebo enveloped by a magnolia tree that you can see the ocean from when you sit in it this side of heaven? I may still be sitting there if Stine hadn’t kept me in reality…

34 hours into the trip: Saw this beach house and it was my turn to drag Stine away and pull her back into reality. It was her favorite color, and the handpainted sign above the door says, “Remember To Smile.”

What a wonderful way to end our day before heading back to Nashville… I think it’s safe to say when thinking about this trip, we’ll never have to be reminded to smile.

“If the ocean is warm we'll take a swim…
Fill our pockets with sand to prove we went…
To our friends.”

Every time I get in Boy Scout now I look down at the passenger side and see the shimmer of white sand on the floor and can’t help but say a prayer of thanks. Not just a thanks for the moments from that trip, but because of the way God has shown me that like that sand that somehow gets everywhere and follows you home, freedom in Him is accessible to me anywhere and in any situation. This year has been one of incredible lessons of letting go, trusting, surrendering, and discovering TRUE freedom. I’m not so swayed by my situations and circumstances anymore. Joy is no longer contingent on them. And to go back to my “frosting” analogy from an earlier blog, moments like a couple of days at the beach with one of my dearest friends have never tasted sweeter.

Spring Fever

2006-02-26T21:16:00.000-08:00

The weather. Always a hot topic at home in Nebraska (since it directly effects my dad’s work) or in Nashville when there’s even the possibility of a snowflake or the thermometer going below 35. It’s also a constant fallback in small talk conversation, one I’ve found it particularly useful when awkwardly stuck in the elevator with someone at work.

I’ve realized how often my mood is also affected by the weather. Last weekend it was COLD and snowy, and I was grumpy. (Once the Christmas season is over, I’m so done with the cold “perks” like warm beverages and sweaters and just ready for spring.) The past few days it’s been much warmer out, hinting that spring is just around the corner, and I’ve been frolicking all over Franklin and Nashville with a smile on my face and my sunroof open. As I went for a walk today, I started thinking about all the little things about summer/spring that make me happy and I’m looking forward to experiencing again.

I thought I’d list some of them here (in no particular order) with “Christmas-like” anticipation of the upcoming seasons…

• smelling the Magnolias and honeysuckle
• wearing flip flops and cute sandals (goodbye socks, hello pedicures)
• daylight lasting longer than 10 minutes after I leave work
• reading a book by our pool
• diving into the swimming pool –nothing beats that rush of your first dive of the summer
• hosting pool parties for my friends, my church small group, and Hadley and Callie
• going to visit Farrah and maybe even catch a Red Sox game
• wearing skirts and fun dresses to work and church instead of jeans all the time
• having a tan (goodbye winter white, I won’t miss you.)
• that feeling of being drenched with sweat after a run because of the heat (yes, I’m weird)
• playing catch and volleyball at the park
• eating outside at Jackson’s and PM under white twinkle lights
• cookouts at Christina’s house
• riding the bike I’m planning to buy
• freshly cut grass
• GOING TO THE BEACH

“In the midst of winter I finally realized there was within me an invincible summer.”
~ Albert Camus

Tell Me A Story.

2006-02-05T21:31:00.000-08:00

“Tell me that story again, the one that has no ending,
and that will be the story of you and me…”

I’ve had this line from a Fleming & John song in my head almost all weekend. This weekend as I traveled to fabulous Las Vegas, I was not only reminded how much I love my family, but also how much I love stories.

Stories are something I cherish; the name of this blog was no accident. In some ways, I think stories, whether fact or fiction, are the only way the world makes sense to me. They are constantly running through my mind, keeping me entertained and hopeful… something that just happened, something I hope will happen, a memory from long ago, something that happened to someone I’ve never met…for better or worse, there is always some story going through this head of mine.

This weekend while traveling I had a chance to read two books that I want to publicly recommend reading (as any believer in word-of-mouth marketer would). Both happen to be stories of real people.

Unlikely Angel: The Untold Story of the Atlanta Hostage Hero
by Ashley Smith

This story has fascinated me since the day I saw Ashley on the news immediately following her ordeal. I literally had to re-do my make-up that morning because I was so moved by what she wanted Brian Nichols to know in prison. Reading more of her story taught me so much about myself and how I view others…

-and-

Telling Secrets by Frederick Buechner

Buechner shares my passion for stories, and he put into words some reasons why they are important to him...in a much more eloquent way than I have been able to. So with that said, I end this entry with three of my favorite paragraphs from the beginning of his book, Telling Secrets…

“This is all part of the story about what it has been like for the last ten years or so to be me, and before anybody else has the chance to ask it, I will ask it myself: Who cares?…But I talk about my life anyway because if, on the one hand, hardly anything could be less important, on the other hand, hardly anything could be more important. My story is important not because its mine, God knows, but because if I tell it anything like right, it is also yours. Maybe nothing is more important than that we keep track, you and I, of these stories of who we are and where we have come from and the people we have met along the way because it is precisely through these stories in all their particularity, as I have long believed and often said, that God makes himself known to each of us most powerfully and personally. If this is true, it means that to lose track of our stories is to be profoundly impoverished not only humanly but also spiritually.”

“We believe in God – such as it is, we have faith – because certain things happened to us once and go on happening. We work and goof off, we love and dream, we have wonderful times and awful times, are cruelly hurt and hurt others cruelly, get mad and bored and scared stiff and ache with desire, do all such human things as these, and if our faith is not mainly just window dressing or a rabbit’s foot or fire insurance, it is because it grows out of precisely this kind of rich human compost. The God of Biblical faith is the God who meets us at these moments in which for better or worse we are being most human, most ourselves, and if we lose touch with those moments, if we don’t stop from time to time to notice what is happening to us and around us and inside us, we run the tragic risk of losing touch with God too.”

“I believe that we are called to see that the day-by-day lives of all of us – the things that happened long ago, the things that happened only this morning, are also hallowed and crucial and part of a great drama in which souls are lost and souls are saved including our own…I not only have secrets, I am my secrets. And you are your secrets. Our secrets are human secrets, and our trusting each other enough to share them with each other has much to do with the secret of what it is to be human.”

A Day to Remember

2006-01-22T15:01:00.000-08:00

“Love woke me up this morning
With a memory
Love came and whispered a story
That awakened a dream…

I am a dreamer
Take me higher
Open the sky up
Start a fire
I believe
Even if it's just a dream”

I couldn’t get this Bethany Dillon song out of my head on Friday. It started when I woke up early and headed to the YMCA to run. When I rounded the corner of the house to get in my Jeep, I stopped dead in my tracks at the sight of the sky. I was standing before the most beautiful sunrise I think I’ve ever witnessed in Nashville. The sky was glowing in this radiant pink color that no human could ever emulate. The trees all looked charcoal black silhouetted against the pink bursts of color in the sky and the air felt like spring. I couldn’t get enough of life at that moment. I wanted to soak in that moment forever. I knew it was going to be an amazing day, and I was right.

The day got progressively better, the biggest highlight definitely being news of the birth of my dear friends’ first child: Adler Gray. In the evening we all went to the hospital to catch a glimpse of that lil’ babe we’d all been talking about for months. The whole night was the picture of community. Celebrating new life with dear friends, holding this TINY person that was less than 24 hours old, seeing how Adler already looks just like his parents, creating a new verb: “dimpled,” laughing A LOT. It was an ideal night. I can’t really even express specifically why the night was so special (besides the obvious reasons). I do know though that I appreciate the beauty of life even more now and am thankful for this day when love woke me up with a beautiful sunrise and multiple reminders of the story we’re all caught up in…

Chocolate Frosting

2006-01-15T21:57:00.000-08:00

Each year for my birthday, my mom would ask me “What kind of cake do you want for your birthday?” My response was always the same, “The one with your chocolate frosting.” You see, this frosting is the whole reason you eat the piece of cake. Not to say the cake isn’t good, it is incredible. But the frosting! This frosting could practically be called fudge and the second it touches your tongue, you’re hooked…and quite possibly on your way to sugar shock. Every bite is a tiny taste of heaven on earth making you want to savor every single bite. And go back for seconds.

Maybe it’s because I just celebrated my half-birthday last week (yes, my family recognizes the “half-birthday”), but I’ve been thinking about that chocolate frosting a lot lately. And it’s not because of my sweet tooth. Who would have thought God would use my mom’s chocolate frosting to teach me a little bit about my life?

My understanding is that the expression “icing on the cake” represents something that intensifies an already good or bad situation. I’ve come to realize that I’m guilty of being too focused on the ‘icing on the cake” when it comes to life. I’ve want the REALLY good stuff…what the world tells us is the best and a “must-have.” Things that aren’t necessarily bad, but become bad when they’re my only focus or end-goal. I was becoming consumed by the “frosting” of life and realized if I wasn’t careful I’d become obese from buying into those lies. I was forgetting about the foundation, the cake. And really, isn’t that the whole reason you make the frosting?

Now, the other thing you should know about my mom’s frosting is that it takes time to make. It’s not easy like that stuff you buy in a jar…it takes time and effort…and usually a vacuum cleaner to pick up all the spilled powdered sugar when I’m in the kitchen. That’s the other thing about my life...I like things “now.” But in all this thinking about frosting, I’ve been reminded that the really good stuff often takes time and rushing this process ruins the end result. Some things are worth the wait.

This month I’ve been thinking about how these two frosting lessons relate to my life:
1. What’s the foundation I’ve started to overlook by being so focused on the “icing on the cake.”
2. Why would I want to skip the process that makes an already good thing, great, for something that’s just easy?

So my focus is shifting. I’m learning about true surrender and what it really means to “let go.” There is a verse in Matthew that I’ve known for years, but I’m not sure I’ve truly tasted its Truth until now. “For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.” I’m not so concerned with the “frosting” I wanted for my life anymore. I’m more interested in what God wants from me. And you know what? I’ve experienced more unexpected blessings, what I now refer to as “frosting moments,” in the past two weeks than I have in a long time. There are almost too many to count, and to me they all add up to one word: HOPE.

So next July when I eat that piece of cake with chocolate frosting, I’m going to savor every bite. Not just because of the way it melts in my mouth, but because it represents a new understanding, or dare I say, “recipe,” for what the next 25 years and beyond are all about.

Ballet Shoes

2005-12-19T22:27:00.000-08:00

I’ve had a quiet love for ballet for years. At age 11 it was voiced through the way I would practice our dance routines everywhere I had a spare moment, even the grocery store aisles when waiting on my mom. At age 20 it was a trip to see a traveling ballet company with my Grandma. When I turned 22 my admiration took shape in the purchase of a little black dress that made me feel like a ballerina. Twenty-three found me seizing the day by taking a session of adult ballet for beginners, which reiterated that my talent lies in observing rather than participating. Last Friday night I attended the Nashville Ballet’s production of The Nutcracker. Thanks to some wise words Christina shared with me earlier this year, at age 24, I finally was able to put into words why I’ve carried a torch for the ballet all these years.

As I watched the “Snow Queen and King” appear to literally float about the stage as they danced, it finally clicked in my mind. I love ballet because it reflects a grace that I hope my life will daily reflect too. My sparse experience with actually trying to dance has taught me that even the littlest move or plie is actually extremely difficult and takes much time to perfect. Ballet requires discipline, years of practice, and a learned grace before those moves look completely effortless on stage. It’s not a transformation that takes place overnight. As I look back at this past year and look ahead to 2006, this realization gives me comfort. Life is not guaranteed to be easy and solutions to problems or answers to our desires rarely happen overnight. On the contrary, there is almost always some sort of challenge at hand or waiting period, whether we choose it or not. We do, however, have a choice in how we respond to and handle life’s challenges.

My hope is that I will daily discover a little bit deeper what it means to trust bravely and carry life’s challenges with a ballerina like poise and grace that makes others think,

“I want to dance with Him too.”

Flight to Bethlehem

2005-11-08T23:11:00.000-08:00

I love to fly. The moment the sliding doors open in front of me at the airport, I feel like I’ve entered an entirely different world. Between those first smudged glass doors and the smiling, familiar faces that usually meet me at the end of my journey, I feel free to escape. I can be whoever I want—suddenly I’m on my very own set of Alias, and I am Sydney Bristow on my way to break into the Vatican. When I’m not Sydney, I can imagine equally far-fetched stories about all the people sitting around me, decide whether or not to make small talk with the older gentleman with kind eyes across from me, or even pretend that my music is too loud to hear the person beside me that just asked where I’m from. The only thing to give away my true identity is the ID I have to flash at all the security checkpoints. And I tuck that safely away in my back pocket at the first chance I get, so as not to blow my cover.

Not much can put a damper on my current mission to recover the missing artifact from the Vatican or the story I’ve conjured up about the mismatched couple sitting in front of me. That is except for the dreaded middle seat. That’s right, as I approached my seat in 7B I discovered that my worst fear was coming true—I was assigned a middle seat. My fate was sealed with one little letter on my boarding pass. For the next two hours, I would to be stuck in between a man who I can only assume is Hitler’s distance cousin and a man who just stepped out of a Ralph Lauren ad. Ugh! To make matters worse, the legroom must have been designed with a small child in mind.

So there I sat, stiff as an elementary student who is waiting on the bench outside of the principal’s office. As the flight attendant finished modeling the correct way to place an oxygen mask over your face (without damaging her hair sprayed 80s bangs), I knew only one thing was going to save this situation and get me back into “stealth mode.” Christmas music.

Nothing calms me down and warms my heart quite like Christmas music. I guess you could say I buy into Buddy the Elf’s rules: “The best way to bring Christmas cheer is to sing loud for all to hear.” I was afraid of what Hitler and Ralph would do to me if I literally started to sing out loud like Buddy, so I turned to my trusty iPod. With one push of that center button, I was transformed into my own winter wonderland.

Soon the deep, rich sound of Matthew Perryman Jones singing my favorite version of the carol O Holy Night was my own in-flight fireplace, warming me up and making me feel safe and cozy. Ralph (who was lucky enough to score an A--which equals window seat) was asleep, so I could safely gaze out the window at the twinkling glow below. Suddenly the nightlife beneath us was transformed from a bustling world that is full of worries and hardship into a peaceful night over 2000 years ago.

I gazed down on all the man-made lights and I couldn’t help but notice that they could almost be mistaken for actual stars. Suddenly we were flying upside down and the distant glow of the city ahead might as well have been the star of David. As I looked down (or was it up?) at the lights before me and imagined all the hurts and questions lingering above each person like the clouds we’d broken through on my last flight, I couldn’t stop thinking about these words from the song:

Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
Till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

I listened to them over and over again until the cabin lights rudely brought me out of my daydream and I was forced to turn off my “electronic device.”

PEACE OF CHRIST is the only way to describe that divine night that I got stuck with 7B. Looking at the torn boarding pass in my jacket pocket, it still says Nashville to Boston, but I’m pretty sure somewhere in between the two cities we made a stop in Bethlehem.

Harvest

2005-10-23T21:00:00.000-07:00

I miss being in Nebraska during October.

I never realized how the fields of corn were my ruler for which to measure time, until I moved away. Now I looked to the displays outside the grocery stores as my guide. The stores are always eager to sell you a bunch of fall mums for only $10, a colossal pumpkin that would make Charlie Brown drool for “only” $50, or your very own bundle of “freshly” chopped firewood for only $3.99. I miss the organic scenes of my childhood. Drying cornfields that sound crisp in the wind, red grain trucks sporadically lining the ditches of neighboring fields, enormous combines creeping down the road headed to the next “80” to be picked, and red corn cob dust floating through the air…it all quietly whispers to my heart…harvest is here.

In elementary school, the best part about harvest was the glorious day that my dad, uncle, and grandpa would pick the field of corn that was right beside our house. As the bus would pull up to our driveway and my eyes would catch a glimpse of the combine, tractor and trucks parked next door, my legs could not carry me fast enough off of that yellow monster and into the house to change clothes, so I could climb aboard an even larger GREEN monster: a John Deere tractor. This was the day I would “help” my dad with the harvest.

My mom would have a delicious snack waiting for me…warm “gimmie” cookies or club crackers and a childhood favorite drink, Tang (thank you NASA). I’d eat it as quickly as possible, change into my “work” clothes, and I was ready to go. It always seemed to be extra windy and chilly on this special day, but that wouldn’t stop me. I’d even willingly put on my purple jacket AND put up the hood AND tie the strings without being told, just so that I was sure to have as much time as possible in the tractor with my dad.

My mom and I would then make the walk to the field that seemed to take an hour, even though it couldn’t have been more than a minute. The wind would be cutting at our faces, corn shucks would be swirling around our feet, but I barely noticed as we approached the roaring sounds of the tractor nearing the edge of the field. My dad would climb down the square steps of the tractor, wearing his worn jeans and warm flannel shirt, and come meet Mom and I standing at a safe distance away. Mom and Dad would talk briefly, then Dad would kiss Mom and we were on our way. I could barely hear, as my dad would boost me up to the first tractor step. I always wondered what would happen if I’d reach my arm out and touch the whirling parts of the engine that were exposed near the steps, but I was never that brave…or stupid. Dad would climb in right behind me and take his place at the driver’s seat as I nestled in beside him on the arm of the seat. Just then we’d hear Grandpa’s voice over the CB saying he was ready to unload. And we were off…

Back then Grandpa was still alive and able to work in the field during harvest. So he would drive the gigantic combine, my dad would drive the tractor pulling the grain-cart, and Uncle Ron was in charge of the grain trucks that would transport the picked corn back to the drying bins on the farm....

So Grandpa would signal Dad on the CB, and we would go dashing across the field. The field was full of “speed bumps” about every 10 inches where the rows of corn had been. Although today I hate speed bumps with a passion, I loved every minute of flying over those bumps in the field. I’d hold on for dear life because I remembered from the year before how hard the cold window felt against my head, especially now that my hood was down. I’d brace myself against my dad and we’d fly over each bump at what must have been at least 8 mph, my dad and I would laugh and chat about the day as we neared Grandpa in the combine.

We’d drive up right beside Grandpa so that he wouldn’t have to stop picking corn for even a second as he simultaneously unloaded into the grain cart that which he’d already picked. Grandpa would always say “Well I see you have Susan with you.” over the CB, and I would grin from ear to ear when Dad would hand me the receiver so I could say hello back. After I said my hellos, Dad would take the receiver from me and tell Grandpa we were ready. Grandpa would then pull the big yellow lever at his side and the long arm on the side of the combine would stretch out like the neck of a giraffe until it was over the cart. I’d turn around just in time to see the waterfall of yellow kernels cascade into the giant wagon we were pulling. This would continue through most of the length of the field until suddenly a mountain of gold started to appear above the green edges and Dad would tell Grandpa to stop.

Grandpa would then push back down the lever, and we’d wave goodbye as we braved the sea of speed bumps once again to repeat this process. Only this time, we would be the ones creating the mountain of gold in the back of one of Uncle Ron’s trucks. As we bounced back across the field, this seemed like the perfect time to perform my favorite “tractor trick.” I’d reach my arm up every so slyly and turn on the…windshield wipers. I’d laugh and my dad would graciously pretend he was shocked by this sudden change in his view as the windshield wipers swished back and forth brushing away the corn dust and red specks of corn cobs that had collected on the window. I don’t know why I thought that was funny, but a ride with dad in the tractor was never complete if I didn’t play with the windshield wipers at least once.

We’d then pull up next to the old, red grain truck and my dad would let me have the honor of pulling the special lever on his other side. The special lever that would spill the contents of our cart into the truck. Such power in that little lever. We’d sit there in the tractor, sharing the orange fruit snacks Dad had saved from his lunch, and wait for the constant flow of corn to taper off to a trickle. Without fail the moment after I’d pushed the lever back to its resting place, Grandpa would call for us again and we were off to repeat the process once again.

I’d usually end up having to go back home after one or two more rounds of this routine because of homework, or dog chores, or Awana verses to learn, or eek, having to use the bathroom. (That must have been one of the reasons I only got to “help” when we were right next the house.) My dad, however, would repeat that same process at least ten more times that day and hundreds of times within the month. I may have only “helped” with harvest one afternoon every year, but to this day it is my favorite memory to relive when October rolls around.

I think next year I will fly home for a weekend during harvest. A girl is never too old to ride in the tractor beside her dad…or to turn on the windshield wipers when he’s not looking.