Sunday, February 25, 2007

It's the Safest Kind of Falling...

This week I got to skip out on work for a couple of days to join my friends on the youth staff at church for a retreat to our summer camp location. We had a BLAST, and it was just what I needed. Spring was finally in the air after a snowy weekend, which made it all the more perfect that I got to spend those days at a camp instead of behind a desk.

Two moments stuck with me the most as we laughed our way through the tour of the campgrounds.

Sitting in a white rocking chair on a cabin’s deck that over looked the lake while soaking in the warmth of the sun.

One of my favorite things to do is just sit outside with my eyes closed and feel the warmth of the sun on my face. I was probably only in that rocking chair for a minute, but during that time I was also back on the beach at Seaside with my girls...on the dock at Smith Mountain lake with the peeps...at a red light in Green Hills with Stine and her VW bug with the sunroof open and music blasting...countless memories came rushing back as I added a new one to my mental rolodex. I could have sat there for hours.
(my fave pic from one of our times at Seaside...)


The other moment that stuck with me the most was experiencing the zipline and giant swing (or The OSS as we re-named it) from their high ropes course. Typically things like putting on a “harness” that looks more like a glorified belt that has no chance of holding me up and agreeing to be hooked to a rope and jumping off a platform that is way too high off the ground for comfort would completely freak me out. Ok, so maybe it did Thursday too. BUT I decided to not listen to the fear and instead think about what it would feel like after I jumped. When I was waiting for my turn to go on the zipline, I randomly remembered this dream I had about three years ago. In the dream, Stine and I were both standing on this ledge above all these trees. I kept thinking about how scary it looked below and how there was no way I could take the leap. Then all of a sudden, Stine just looked at me, smiled, and jumped off like a little kid at a swimming pool. I remember in my dream I kept watching her below me and thinking, “I can’t believe she just jumped. I wish I could do that.”

I have no idea if that dream was supposed to mean anything more than any other dream, but it always stuck with me. So when faced with the chance to really jump this week, I did.

I jumped.

I jumped and it was amazing. After about 2 seconds of freaking out, I realized how amazing it felt to just glide through the air. I discovered it was actually easier to just sit back in the harness and relax and enjoy the ride. My trying to hold myself up was actually made it harder. Hmmm, life lesson to be learned from this experience? Cue the cheesey music. :-) I’ve been wrestling with surrendering some feelings and questions the past couple of weeks and a song by Downhere has helped a lot in the process. The lyrics couldn’t be more perfect for the experience at camp…

...And it's the safest kind of falling
Now that I'm falling into You
And it's true I still don't have control
'Cause You've got it all along

So I surrender, surrender, surrender
All these things to You
All my life to You
All my dreams to You
I keep falling in surrender...



Pic of the zipline from the camp's wesbite....see the small platform towards the back...that's where you end up...

Labels: